Apart from managing oneself, another great challenge the healthy partner is faced with, is communication. How do you communicate with someone who seems so far from reality that you can't even hope to understand his world? The answer lies in love, and in questions
Forget being upset. Forget fear. The communication you're looking for comes from a place that is filled with nothing but love.
So the first thing to do is find the love that is apparently lost in the crazy world your partner succumbs to. There's a sequence of steps that work well for me:
1. Use any of the actions in the previous post to make sure you're mentally stable yourself.
2. Lie or sit down in a quiet place where you won't be disturbed.
3. Think back to when you were most in love with your partner.
4. Clearly visualize everything that happened during this time.
5. Now focus on the feelings you had during this time; of being completely in love without any fears or worries.
6. Focus on replacing the negativity in your heart now with the feelings that you had then.
7. Do this until every fibre of your being is infused with nothing but love for your partner.
You can do the above for as many times a day or for as long at a time as you choose. Do it for as long as it takes.
Next time your partner begins his strange ramblings, don't at any point try to convince him of another viewpoint than his own. Instead, try to see things from his perspective. Ask questions. Comment on his viewpoint. Focus on understanding.
It is likely that you'll feel much less strain in your relationship. Your partner will feel validated instead of negated. This friendlier, more loving approach will also be much more likely to bring about stability if not a sooner return to a more healthy mental state. It will cultivate mutual respect.
Always remember: you chose to be together on the basis of love. Focus on loving yourself and loving him. Everything else will become easier.
posted by Cathi @ 11:42 PM
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