It is the story of our lives: depression, anxiety. More depression and anxiety alternates with euphoria when, even for a short while, they seem to “return”. When you’re emotionally involved with someone, you commit not only physically, but psychologically and emotionally as well. This is why abusive relationships are so hard to leave – the violence has become so much part of the victim’s life that he or she almost needs it.
The question is – what about mental illness? If you’re emotional enough about your partner, have you begun to “need” the manifestations of his illness, although unpleasant?
An episode of “Rescue Me” one Thursday evening brought this home like lightning. The firefighter Captain’s wife was deteriorating from Alzheimers or something equally horrific. A nurse gave him advice that has stayed with me to this day: “Don’t let the illness claim you both”.
I was once emotionally drained to an extreme degree. I had nothing left for anything or anyone. It was my own brand of illness, and I was fast succumbing. Until I decided to withdraw, even for just a while, from the whole situation. My time alone gave me the strength to find myself. I am back in the relationship now. I am renewed and strong. I am myself, and most importantly, I am protected.
If you decide to stay in the relationship the best thing you can do for yourself and your mentally ill partner is to find something outside the relationship to fulfill you.
No relationship can be balanced if it’s the only thing in your life. Get a hobby. Have some exercies. Be happy by yourself. Only then can you build the emotional stability and strength to handle the relationship you’re in. The rewards are amazing.
Labels: mental health, schizophrenic partner, self-management
posted by Cathi @ 2:33 AM
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